theory: the triple platinum 2006 album The Black Parade by American band My Chemical Romance is not simply about a man dying of cancer, but about a specific man - Wade Winston Wilson, AKA Deadpool.
i came up with a bad mcr theory on my way home and every moment i don’t post about it is a win for all involved. you’re welcome
Let’s discuss the facts. These will be broad strokes, as the further down the rabbit hole I’ve gone on this theory the more supporting evidence there is, but I don’t want to do a line-by-line dissection as I have work tomorrow. Just trust me, this theory works concerningly well.
Fact 1. The Black Parade is about the final moments of a man dying, we assume, of cancer. This man will henceforth be referred to as ‘The Patient,’ as this is the commonly agreed-upon name for this character.
The catalyst of Wade Wilson’s story is him getting diagnosed with cancer. This seems very basic, but we need to establish basic before we go any further.
Fact 2. The Patient is not well-liked, we assume because he has done some very bad things. (Have you heard the news that you’re dead?/ No one ever had much nice to say / I think they never liked you anyway - Dead!, There’re things that I have done, / You never should ever know! - How I Disappear, Well, I think I’m gonna burn in hell / Everybody burn the house right down - House of Wolves) Further, we can assume that he likely did some of these very bad things while in the military. (Well, Mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue / You should’ve raised a baby girl / I should’ve been a better son - Mama)
Before he was diagnosed with cancer, Wade worked as a CIA-sanctioned mercenary, fitting in with both of these particular lines in our narrative. (Please note that while the Marvel Wiki cites an issue from 2010 as establishing this fact, which would make this point irrelevant, there are past references to this, from what I can find, dating back to 1998. The relevant pages are here)
Fact 3. The Patient was in a long-term loving relationship, which he seems to have broken off shortly after the diagnosis. (Well, when you go / So never think / I’ll make you try to stay, // When you go / Would you even turn to say / “I don’t love you / Like I did / Yesterday" - I Don’t Love You, I will not kiss you / ‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you - Cancer)
Wade’s long-term girlfriend, Vanessa, was established in Deadpool 1-1, and he broke off this relationship after his diagnosis so as not to force her to be in a relationship with someone who was dying.
Fact 4. The Patient appears to have a complicated relationship with his parents, particularly his mother. (She said, “You ain’t no son of mine / For what you’ve done. They’re gonna find / A place for you / And just you mind your manners when you go / And when you go, don’t return to me, my love.” - Mama)
Wade had a complicated relationship with his mother, who was either abusive or died when Wade was very young, depending on the run you are reading (Both of these were published pre-BP release)
Note: another interpretation of this line is that it is being spoken by Mother War, a character in the Black Parade universe, rather than the patient’s actual mother. This interpretation of the line also fits into Wade’s story, as he was dishonorably discharged from the military.
Fact 5. We never actually see the patient die. However, we do see numerous instances within the album of him being defiant in the face of death and him attempting to survive through his diagnosis, including on the final (official) song on the album. (Defiant to the end we hear the call -Welcome To The Black Parade, I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone / Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven / Nothing you can say can stop me going home - Famous Last Words)
As you can probably guess, Wade doesn’t actually die as a result of his cancer diagnosis. Instead, he becomes a test subject and is injected with a healing serum derived from Wolverine’s blood.
Fact 6. These are the lyrics to the hidden track of The Black Parade, Blood, which serves as an epilogue of sorts:
I genuinely can’t pick out a single line to prove my point. Also note the overall tone of the song the next time you listen to it, as it is notably jaunty
I genuinely can’t believe this took me so long to piece this part together. This one came to me as I was writing this out. Oh my god. Anyway, ‘blood, blood, gallons of the stuff’ and ‘they can fix me proper with a bit of luck’ could be a reference to the fact that Deadpool’s power is that he can’t die, but is often brutalized in a variety of ways throughout his comic runs. The overall tone of the song fits with Deadpool’s magnificent violence juxtaposed with comedy. Also note the line ‘I can’t control myself because I don’t know how / And they love me for it, honestly, I’ll be here for a while’ as it could be both a reference to his madness and the fact that he is one of the few characters who knows he’s a comic book character and references it oh my god this song could be his theme song i’m in too deep i need to stop.
And finally, tying all of the above facts together into a neat little bow:
Fact 7. Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance and (contributing) writer of their songs, is a Known Comic Book Nerd
He knew who Deadpool was in 2006 I just know it in my heart and he’s the type I have no proof of this other than it just Being How He Is but dude trust me
If Gaiman himself knocked on my front door and told me he would add Crowley and Aziraphale saying “I love you” to Good Omens but I had to give up “You go too fast for me, Crowley” to get it, I would turn him down in a heartbeat. I know damn well which one of those lines is more romantic. I know which one of those lines is going to haunt me for y e a r s down the road. I know which line I’m going to be crying about for the next century, and it isn’t some common i love you. You can put those words in any character’s mouth, but you’ll have to pry you go too fast for me from my cold dead fingers before I give it to anyone else.
